Who's life is it anyway?

I used to talk to people with intellectual disabilities about getting what they want out of life.  We would call this self advocacy and self determination.  Self advocacy is asking for what you want.  Self determination id doing what YOU need to do to get what you want.  So if you want a job for example, you are willing to send in the resumes, go to the interviews, talk to whoever to get what you want.  I'd like to get a job, keep my home, and find a significant other. 

The problem with living a self determined lifestyle is that a lot of this is beyond your control.  I can't make the mortgage company work with me.  I can't make some one hire me and I definitely can't make some one love me.  (I have actually thought I could  at times.)  That's the problem.  Often there are stereotypes attached to people with disabilities.  This keeps people from really giving you a chance.  And people with disabilities can believe these stereotypes themselves.  If you hear no you can't everyday for most of your life you begin to believe it.   If your disability is not a birth defect, you understand some of the stereotypes that come along with a disability.  You may even have believed a few.  This will definitely affect the way you function as a person with a different body.

People with disabilities can often see things in an unrealistic way.  You can't always get help for everything.  One job doesn't always lead to the next, and no matter what life costs.  It costs money.  It costs in emotions.  It can even cost in health and well being.  Everyone has bumps in the road of life.  I'm going over a mountain at the moment. I hoping that there is a golden safe place on the other side.  If you have live a self determined life, disability or not, there will be peaks valleys hills and mountains in them too.  Try doing what I said in the last blog.  Get any and all support together.  They make the good times better.  They make the bad times bearable.  My mistakes lead me to this bad place in my life.  I hope my actions get me out.  If not,  I will be changed.  I am honestly not sure if the change will be good or bad.  We will see. If you have a disability, set goals and work towards them.  It really is the only way to live. Just realize no one gets Everything they want without giving up something else.