Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Is no news really good news?

I have never been one that likes to wait.  In fact I hate it.  I like doing.  I want to live a life I wanna live.  Enough money to live.  Something worth while to do.  And please something for fun.  I also want love.  I have given up on the romantic  part and four legged children are a big blessing for the love that they give.  Because I am not the queen of the world, I try hard to wait at least a while.  Sometimes though that just makes me worry more.  I have been trying to work with people to restructure my mortgage.  This is my second try working with HUD. I tried before with another company that just took my money.   I have all my papers turned in and am awaiting a decision.  This is the worst part.  You as a person have done all you can do.  Your life now depends on someone else?  How do I deal with this?  It's a very scary time.  (Believe me I have my counselor on speed dial.)  What happens if I have to give everything I know and love (My animals ) up?  I honestly don't know if I will survive it.  So I am here like millions of other Americas waiting hoping and praying for a good outcome.  When anxiety gets like this for me, I need to take action.  I need to prepare for the bad news somehow.  So while I'm waiting here for my life to fall apart, I hope and pray and talk to whoever I can to make sure my worst fears don't come true. 

I don't know if self help books help really.  They may just be help you feel better about the fact that your life is a mess.  Sometimes reading and praying are all you can do.  Wish me luck.

PS Four legged child Minnie who can be seen on the right side of my blog came home last night between 2 and 3 in the morning.  Safe and sound and hungry.

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