can you bielieve this

I have had one of those weeks today.  In three days from Saturday until now I have had a rough time.  My cat has broken my computer.  She knocked over my computer and broke the screen.  I need to turn in a time sheet from a substituting job.  This sheet is of course, in my computer.  I need to do taxes also found on my computer.  After a great day singing cheesy music from old musicals,  I come home to find a letter from my stupid a&4*hole mortgage company.  According to them, I have missed two payments on my mortgage.  My records say that I  have not missed any.  When you see the words Intent To Foreclose written on a letter you tend to panic.  I hope I don't have to go to court but I may have no choice.  Well I am writing this from my phone.  Don't wanna go over my data plan.  Take care

Thinking of my cat

While I'm sitting in bed at night I have a lot of anxious thoughts.  What if I never get a steady job again?  What if they stop helping with the mortgage before I get regular work?  If I die before the mortgage is paid will the house sit and rot?  Who will bury me?  who will care for my animals?  Will I ever feel content with my life?  (The answer to the last question is no by the way.  There is always something to work on or work towards.)  Most of these questions will stop when I take my pill for anxiety. If I don't want to medicate myself out of these thoughts all the time I consider Fat boy.

Through life's crazy set of circumstances my four legged grand son cat got bitten by and animal and has to be under quarantine for a total of 6 months.  He sits in a cage all the time.  Sometimes he cries for attention or to get his litter cleaned but basically he's still a happy boy.  I caught him playing with a ball in his cage the other day.  He doesn't even really try to escape any more.  He knows someone will be there to feed him and love him and clean his litter at least once a day.  Some might say this broke his spirit.  I don't think so.  I think he thinks "Okay. I'm in this crappy cage.  I don't know why but my human grandma says I gotta stay.  At least she comes by to feed me, change my litter and love me a bit.  Maybe I can deal with it."

I am learning to do the same.  No job?  right now I can deal with it.  Food stamps and other assistance has been a huge help and I have survived so far.  I am worried about my home.  Well I have paid all the payments I was supposed to so far and I am taking one month at a time.for now that is all I have. I don't really worry about my death I just worry about the animals and such I might leave behind.  I hope someone is there to love them . 

I don't always feel loved and supported these days.  I have no boyfriend or whatever and family is sporadic at best but I have learned from Fat boy Take what comes.  Fight when you have to hang in there and be patient Your time will come.  Take care.  

I have been looking into history lately.

There are a few eras in history I am particularly fascinated with.  I am fascinated with WWII and the holocaust and the internment of the Japanese.  I think about the murder of millions of people and the fact that many people knew or had a good idea what was going on and did nothing, while others risked their lives and some just did whatever they could. In the United States we placed people of Japanese decent into internment camps.  We may not have been as brazen to kill them.  We just housed them in upscale prisoner of war camps even though many of them were not soldiers or prisoners of any kind.  That was in the forties. 

Fast forward two decades and there are now struggles for racial equality.  Some people risked their lives.  Some people wanted things to remain the same.  Some people did what they could to support change.  On HBO there is a documentary called The Loving Story.  In this documentary an interracial married couple in Virginia challenges the laws that make interracial marriage illegal.  They challenged the law in the supreme court of the United States and won.   Now people of any race can marry each other.  This whole fight was started by writing a letter. 

We in the United States seem to like our prejudices.  Racial, ethnic, disability and sexual orientation it does not seem to matter someone is always less than someone else in someones eyes.  For those of us that truly hate this, we do not know what to do.  If the prejudice does not affect our group we do nothing.  I hope anyone reading this remembers that doing nothing gets us nowhere.  We cannot believe in the rights of one group over another if we believe in equality.  We may not all may not risk our lives.  Some of us can speak, some of us can write, most of us can vote.  If we fight for equality we fight for everyone any way we can.  Take care