Trudging trudging along

This week was a busy week for me.  Tuesday I had a transit meeting to discuss that $200,000 budget cut I spoke of.  Wednesday I had a meeting with a new counselor.  My old counselor had to take a leave because of a health issue.  I don't know what the issue is.  They told me I could ask her when she came back.  That way the office would not give out private information.  I get really anxious and upset when I think that someone is abandoning me.  I spoke with my new counselor and the head psychiatrist because the my counselor's absence may have a bad affect.  I must say her illness is bad timing but it's clear she could not help it.  This is not abandonment.  This is an unforeseen circumstance.  I am nervous.  I like the new counselor and I think things will work out. 

Today I had a meeting with my job developer as well.   It gets kind of futile to meet with her once a week when no one has anything new.  I have applied for two jobs.  I am hoping one will hire me.  I don't know because transport is an issue.  I am inventive and have lots of ways to deal with these issues.  They just need to let me invent.  I also got a lead on some new speaking gigs.  We will see if that comes through.  I am trying my best to keep a chin up.  Today it's up a bit.  It has been hanging pretty low.  In the meantime I still make calls for resources to help with the home.  This issue is too important to me to give up on.  Pray for good and take care.

when complaints don't work

Sometimes complaining just doesn't seem to work.  You waste a lot of energy and get nothing in return.  I feel that way a lot.  Take for example the transportation issue.  I have been a big complainer about our transportation system. I complain because transit does not really support my needs.  During the week I cannot go out past 6:30 pm unless I ride the chair.  There is no transit available.  The rates for transit for here are the highest in the state yet the poorest people ride these buses.  Those are my biggest complaints.  I used to complain the the ADA officer for transit and the new mobility managers.  Their response was to recommend me to sit on the advisory board.  I agreed to do that.  I have since found out some information.

Mass transit in most places is partly funded by city and county and state and maybe some federal government.  Our transit it funded by county state and some federal.  Members of our city government do not want transit here because it means that bus stops are places for that "bad element"  Our local transit is basically funded by two grants.  The grants were awarded in order to transport people to and from work.  These grants are intended to work with other funds in place.

This is one of the things I hate the most about this area.  We are getting to be more and more like a bigger city.  We have the same kind of problems.  Yes that does include crime and that "bad element".  Yet the majority of this city's poorest people (me included) are just trying to get to work and manage their lives the best way they can.  Just like everyone else in the world.  It is ridiculous to lump everyone in as the "bad element". And I believe that not wanting buses here may be racially motivated.

I used to believe that someone was stealing  the transit funds and using them to line their own pockets.  I don't believe that anymore.  If money is being mis handled it is more because a small place like our area does not know how to manage a transit system for so many people with diverse needs.  People who complain to transit complain to the wrong people.  This city needs this system to help legit workers get to legit jobs.  The city needs to help fund this.  This area has some great things going on in it and the community needs to be supported to get there and participate.  If you have a complaint speak to our local officials.  They and their families don't ride the bus.  We do!  In a time where we need all the support we can get, our transit system is about to be cut another $200,000.  This will affect our services.  Speak to the right people!

Families

I saw an excellent documentary last night called The Boys.  It's the story of Bob and Richard Sherman. These guys were brothers. They wrote pretty much every popular Walt Disney musical song there was after Mary Poppins.  Including It's a Small World This song is heard on the small world ride in the Disney theme parks.  The general gist of this documentary that was created by their own sons was why these extremely talented men could work together so well but not get along.  I must say I think it is a shame they weren't closer as a family but I understand completely.  FAMILY DRIVES US CRAZY.  

I come from a family crazier than a lot of them.  I have already talked about my dad and his issues.  My mom is not from this country.  She was not supposed to have me it was too dangerous for her.  She was 22 when she married my dad.  turns out she really did not want to be married.  She left my father when I was around 10 and when she settled with a new man some 2 or 3 years later she asked me to live with her and I refused.

It was not a difficult decision.  My mom never believed I could do much yet she did not want to be responsible for my care.  My dad believed I could do almost anything.  He was also the one who went to all my doctors appointments.  My mom cried and blamed herself.  My mom has her own disabling conditions now.  She has back issues and diabetes.  My brother manages her care.  She drives him crazy.  He lives with my mom. His girlfriend also has a disabling condition.  It drives him crazy.  I am here. I am with my care provider,in peace.  See why I don't want to give up my home.  

In the end family is family.  They make you nuts.  They have their addictions and issues.  You have yours.  I think we are conditioned to want our own spaces and have our own lives.  Some of us accomplish that better than others 

Why an education

My roommate is trying to help out a family member with a mental health disability.  This person is getting support services from a local agency but he is not happy with his current situation.  He is board with his current program.  My roommate is trying to get him into a local GED program.  For anyone who does not know, a GED program is a program that will give people who have not graduated high school with an academic degree, the equivalent of a high school diploma.  This will allow a person to pursue higher education or qualify for jobs that require a high school diploma.  The problem is of course, who will pay for any fees and appropriate supports. His family cannot afford to pay.  In a situation like this, I have suggested a few things.

• Get yourselves invited to his IP meeting.
•   An IP is an individual plan.  Every individual with a disability that receives support services has one.  This IP sets the goals and needs up for each individual for 1 year.  These needs are agreed upon by the individual, family and staff and then written in a contract.  The state and the agency are then bound by that contract.  The problem comes when the individual does not or cannot speak for themselves.  If they do not have a strong advocate the same contract tends to roll through year after year. I think this is the case for this person.
• Make sure the GED program is what he wants. 
• In this states case, the GED is run by the local Division of Labor department.  This could be good or bad.  If this individual has been determined not to be able to work, it is not likely he will be able to get the funds or appropriate supports.  This is something that the DORS agency will do. (Read last blog)  I felt my roommate should contact DORS and see if his relative could be tested to see if he is capable of work.  These tests can be any combination of aptitude and diagnostic tests.
• If a GED is really what he wants there are any number of correspondence schools and online help if there is no other way.  doing a little at a time may be the best way to afford it.

In any case if getting the funds and support for a GED is not possible, communication is key here.  What things is this individual interested in.  It is clear in this state a GED program is for people who want to be working more productive people.  If you can't get into these programs because you can't work, look for other continuing education courses.  Traditionally these courses do not have grades so there is less stress.  They are intended for people who just want to learn new things.  Check your local parks and recreation department or community college for anything that may interest you.

Meeting

I had a meeting with my new Division of Rehabilitative Services counselor.  He seems like a good guy.  I don't hold out much hope that he can help make anything change.  He has a disability of his own.  This helps things because It is easy to see that he understands some of the challenges of working when you have a disability.  The economy is so bad however, I don't see anything in the future that he can help with.  I am going to talk with the people who manage my care.  My care provider needs to work 36 hours per week in order to keep her job.  I need to bring in income now.  My thought is I will try to sign up as a substitute teacher again.  I will stick to 3 schools if I can.  These schools are close to my home.

Substitute teaching is a tough gig.  You need to be semi organized.  I am not.  You need to have patience.  I do have some patience with kids who want to learn.  Most of the kids I remember are the ones who were just bad.  You know the ones who make fun just to see what you will do.  They hide in the places they know you can't get to or sit in the back and throw stuff knowing that you can't get to the back of the room with your chair.  I usually report that stuff.  Some schools have a good no tolerance policy with that kind of behavior.  If The student is in a writen report like that they automatically get ISS or In school suspention. Some schools don't care. The good thing about substituting is that each day is a new day and each class is a new challenge.  I hope that I can find something else before September.  If I do substitute, pray for me. I will need it 

Not much going on today

Not much happening today.  I have a meeting with my Division of Rehabilitative Counselor or DORS.  I have to tell you DORS has never been my favorite place.  They promise they will help with things and often it does not work out.  Maybe you get part of what you want but never all of what you want.  New counselors sometimes have new ideas.  That is what I am hoping for.  Some new idea bout how to get a job for me.  Or an idea how to market what I am already doing into survival money.  I swear if I hear any one else tell me I have to save money I will smack them.  I am already doing what I can.  Anyway we will see what a good brainstorming session can come up with.  For more information on DORS click the link.  DORS is a federal program.  There should be offices in every state.

New Video

I have posted a new video on my YouTube account.  The link is About me  But I will also post the video above.  I know I am not the most attractive person here but the idea is clear.  I have talent.  I can work give me a shot.  I must say I like the animated videos better.  They seem more presentable than me and my face.  I always did like cartoons though so maybe I have a bias.  I would like my next thing posted to be some kind of slide show.  Some show about me or an issue I need to get out.

That is how all this starts.  I get frustrated over things that are going on in my life and I have to express these feelings in some constructive way.  Blogging really does help.  According to my stats a few people are reading this.  Even if they weren't I think I would still blog.  It would be like a journal.  Anyway as always comments are appreciated.  Short day today.  Enjoy the video.

If you keep saying you can't

I was watching The Glee Project  on my computer.  In case you don't know,  The Glee Project is a new reality series where young people (teens and 20's) show off their singing and acting talents to the creators of  Glee.  The winner of this show will get a role on Glee.  This show is OK.  I watch it sometimes but something caught me in this last episode.  Ellis, the person they sent home, is apparently a very negative person.  The other contestants even talked about how her negativity affected their mood.  It comes accross as a bad attitude.  Ellis of course had to "sing for her life".  They gave her a jazz song.  She did a good job and was very comfortable.  In the end, It was her attitude that got her sent home.  One of the judges said something like:  If you keep saying you can't, who am I to keep saying you can?  That question struck me.

I will remember that every time I audition for a solo in choir.  I can.  I can.These are things I know I can do.

• I can talk to people.  Find out things about them.  If they need help, point them in the right direction.   
• I can sing.
• I can act a bit.
• I can learn.
• I can create short videos.
• Speak in public
• Create presentations.
• Use a computer
• Express myself

That's a lot of stuff.  Why don't I have a job?  What can you do?  Take care.

Happy Father's day all

Today has been a tough day for a while now.  Today is Dad's day.  My dad died years ago but Dad's day is still tough for me.  I loved my dad even though he had his own issues.  My dad had a big heart and an alcohol problem.  Shrinks say that is why I am so independent.  I am used to people who are there but not really there.  I don't know if that is true.  I do know that I miss my dad every day.  I wonder if he stayed as proud of me in death as he was in life.  I wonder is he mad with me about the house issue.  Does he see my niece growing up to be as strong willed as her daddy?  Is he proud of my brother for being a daddy?  He turned out to be a good one.

I believe in the possibility of ghosts and spirits.  I think a lot of people who claim to contact them are fake.  I think spirits and ghosts and angels are real.  In 1996 I was hit by a car while crossing the street in my wheelchair.  I was expelled from the chair and landed on the street  about 30 or 40 feet from where I was hit.  I knew everything that had happened. I knew I hit the ground hard because I could see the vibrations go through my limbs as they hit the ground.  Yet I felt as though I was placed there gently.  It could have been shock or adrenal glands kicking in, but I think it was angels or some friend or relative that had passed away protecting me from life threatening injuries. I see my dad from time to time too.  I see him in dreams mostly.   He has not been in a while.  I saw him all the time when he first died.  Once he came to me and told me he would be here to help.  Not to worry.  It really made me feel better.  Once he came to me and did not say anything.  He smiled, put down the mail and walked away. Does this mean he can't help me anymore?  I go to sleep asking for his advice.  Lately, he has nothing to say. 

In any case it does not matter if your dad is living or not.  Or if he had his problems or not.  If you know your dad loved you, remember him.  Remember him in any way you think he would like.  Make a toast to him.  Tell a story. Tell a dumb joke.  Go to a ball game.  Sing a song.  Keep his favorite things close. Do anything you want just tell them you love them.  I LOVE YOU DAD!  Take care.

Something good.

I have thought of something good today.  My niece's 12th birthday is this weekend.  I don't think there is going to be a big party for her because we just do not have the money right now.  But I was really worried that I would not have the budget to get her anything.  In fact, my local hang out the Dollar General store had some really cool things.  Among them was a nail kit for $10.00  With 200 decals in them.  (I sure hope she is not reading this.)  I can't wait to see her face.  My niece is the child of a couple that has been broken up for some time.  So shared custody is the norm.  I won't see her until sometime next week but I am sure glad to think of this and smile.

Another big thing is that there is a new program at my local college in conflict resolution. I always said I would get another degree if I were interested in the program.  I hope i can settle this house issue soon and start applying for aid to start this program.  It will cost me about $3000.00 total.  I don't know if financial aid will help with another MA or not.  But I can look into it.      Update It is 290.00 per credit hour.  That means my next graduate degree is probably going to be between 10,000 and 12,000$ .  Wow!

Good day today. 

Sometimes you just need a break

My head is not in it today.  I tried to make a video.  I couldn't figure out what to write for a script.  I tried to look for work.  I couldn't figure out where to start.  I tried to sing and have some fun.  I couldn't figure out what to sing.  I am tired.  I am tired of the phone calls pleading for help.  I am tired of the tears.  I am tired of no good news.  I am even tired of trying to think of good things.  I know I need a vacation.  Can I get a vacation in the middle of fighting a war?  I don't think so.  I feel alone most of the time though I know I am not the only one going through this.  I also feel very stupid.   I swear I am looking for the silver lining.  Like if I don't have the house, I could have more money for myself.  I like my location and I need my animals.

I'd really like to write something profound and have a great video for everyone to see.    I'd like to know that this blog sparked a lot of discussion and comments.  Today I just don't care.  I really need a nap.  I'm gonna get one soon. Take Care

Better days

I wonder sometimes if things are going to get better?  Will I ever get a job? Will I ever get out of this house mess?  Are there such things as better days? Are the people who believe that we are in hell now and we will pass on to heaven when we die correct?  I'm not sure.  I do know I am tired of the same old stuff.  I was watching the usual Dr Phil and hearing about this dad who reacted to his child being bullied.  He is now charged with a few misdemeanors.  An attorney tried to say the father was wrong for what he did.  It was clear she lost her argument.

I understand the attorney's argument that no one should take the law into their own hands.  I also substituted in public school for a while.  Some kids just like being mean.  They think it gives them power.  Or maybe they want attention.  Some kids are just frustrating.  They have parents that are either just too busy working or just don't care about what's going on to do anything about it.  The problem is when you put your kid on the school bus, you expect them to get to school safely.  Not with spit in their hair and having condoms thrown at them.  When your kid gets on the bus they become the transits responsibility.  According to the show, the child did tell more than 1 school official that she had been bullied.  One of the panel up there said he should have sued the school.  I agree he should sue the school.  But that takes years in the meantime the damage is being done to this child every day.  This girl has a disability.  If nothing gets done, she will continue to be tormented.  She is more likely to grow up depressed and act out in negative ways.  I hope she is not as angry as I was when I was in school.  The good news is even if her dad did not do the right thing, he did something.  Every little girl needs a great dad.  I am glad this girl has one. 

Me and others like me would like to have a part in stopping this bully issue.  I don't know when we decided to stop being nice to each other.  Even the coolest bad boys are cooler when they have a heart.  Take care

Not a good day

I hate sitting in limbo.  I am dying to take action on something but nothing is happening.  I have struggled to keep my home for so long and it looks like slowly but surely I am losing it.  I thought I would have more money coming in but it's not coming.  I know I am supposed to think of good things, but I can't today.  I am scared and unhappy.  I am afraid I will have to get rid of the animalsI love so much.  Sorry nothing positive to say.  Pray for me and take care.

Advocacy

I often talk about the people I worked with when I was a paid advocate.  Part of the reason I like to talk about them is because most of them were really terrific individuals with issues and problems similar to my own.  What good is life if we don't learn from each other?  Another part of the reason is because I believe that everyone can benefit from advocacy and conflict resolution skills. So I use my experiences as examples. If you think about it Everyone needs to ask for what they want at some point.  Maybe you need more support from a spouse or family member.  Maybe you need to ask for more hours at work.  Maybe you just need to ask for quiet or some personal time.

I am by no means an expert.  I have fought for and gotten a lot of what I want.  Here are some things I tell people. 

• Hear their side.  You may know you are in for a fight but understanding the opposition will often help. 
• Pick your battles-  No one wins them all.  Choose what you are really willing to fight for and what you can let go.  Fighting over everything makes you lose credibility.  It looks like you just like the fight not the solution.
• Give a little to get a little.  Don't be afraid to give up a little to get a lot.  A lot of advocacy is listening and choosing.  You don't need to roll over but giving up something may show you are willing to be fair.
• If you can't get anyone to hear your side, MAKE SOME NOISE!! The media and your right to peaceful assembly can be a great way to get your voices heard. 

I once met Bob Kafka who was a big deal in disability advocacy.  I told him how much I admired him and read about him.  "But I said A lot of what you do and what we talk about seems to be making trouble and ways to fight and protest.  I have been a part of a protest but I also believe in conflict resolution.  Do you think that has a place here?"  His reply was a thoughtful not and he said "To use conflict resolution is great as long as they are willing to come to the table.  You protest when they are not willing to come to the table.  Good luck in all your negotiations.  Take care

Good things Continued

I watched the TV show 20/20 last night.  One of the stories was about people with Williams Syndrome.  This syndrome is a genetic disorder.  According to the show, people with Williams Syndrome do not have some of the genetic markers that help us develop our sense of caution.  The story talks about how dangerous that can be for the person with the disability. that can be a great strain on a parent or care provider.  It's also sad for the person with the disability.  It's hard for them to develop the social skills needed to be successful in their lives.  In other words, they can be so friendly and trusting that it gets annoying. 

The show highlighted a camp that helps people with this disorder.  The camp helps teach following directions and taking turns.  Some of the basic skills needed to function in today's world.  But the story also highlighted the bad parts of living with this syndrome.  People can easily be taken advantage of.  One young lady had her own apartment but a man came into her life and told her to pay his bills.  In order to keep his friendship.  I never knew all the diagnoses of the people I worked with when I was a paid advocate.  I am sure I worked with some people who had this condition.  I thought 20/20 did a good job of talking about how the world would be a better place if we were all as friendly as these people were, but if you are too friendly, it is easy to be taken advantage of. 

I think that it is easy for anyone who wants to be nice to be taken advantage of.  Simply because there are people out there who aren't as nice.  In a me first world, if you don't want to be a me first person you need to be very careful.  Do we have to use each other in our own pursuits of happiness?  I hope not.  Take care

More good things

One of things I like about my life that I don't talk about much is watching Young and the Restless in the afternoon.  Don't get me wrong I would like a job more.  But I love Y and R.  I wish they had not taken off the other Daytime dramas.  I miss As the World Turns and Guiding Light.  But I love Y and R more.  I grew up watching these shows.  When I was young, I was not mobile enough to go to my friends homes in the summer, so we used to hang out on the phone and watch the soaps together.  My favorite characters are still the cute good guys.  Sometimes even the bad guys are hot.  for Y and R that means Daniel, Cane, and Billy just light me up.  Their story lines keep me interested and I live their smiles or winks or shirtless scenes.  I watch Y and R not with friends on the phone but with my care provider now.  She is just as into it. 

I also know that part of my focus on the good things in life means listening to more music.  I have always loved singing and I have convinced myself that I am not talented enough to put up videos and get noticed.  OK so I may not be the next Justin Beiber, I do have some talent.  No one says anyone out there has to watch anyway.  The more I do stuff I like the better my outlook.  I need that now.  There will always be the new piece of paperwork.  Their will be the next bill.  I would like to find my next opportunity.  The next stage of my life.    While I am looking, take care

New thoughts

I took a day or two off from writing for two reasons.  One I needed to do some paperwork to get some services. Two I needed to gather some thoughts.  I have a tendency to get depressed easily.  If I don't keep it in check, I could easily get lost in depression.  I have a counselor to help avoid that.  Recently though I have noticed that my blogs and my thoughts are negative.  I know the reason.  Its because I am struggling financially.  The question is what do I do about it?   Well I am trying to tackle this 4 ways. 

1. Keep looking for work and try to bring in any monies I can legally.
2. Get in touch with anyone who will help with any services I can get.
3. Keep in touch with counselors and support staff
4. Try to focus on anything good.

So here are some good things.

Of course you know these guys are good.
It's hot out today but spring and summer are great times for farmer's markets.  Fresh fruits and veggies yum.  I have not been sick.
I love to watch things that make me laugh and cry on TV.  I love to watch America's got talent.
I have not received any bad news this week so far.

So that is what I am doing hanging in there hour by hour, day by day, week by week.  Make yourself laugh any way you can.  Laughter is the best medicine.  Take care

Video

I liked the video I posted on my blog so much.  I wanted to make one of my own.  I think many people have some good ideas and videos are a good way to get the discussion rolling.  I have talked about some of the things that I feel.  I have been really curious about feedback but I don't seem to get much.  Most people I talk to on Facebook anyway seem to like my blog and I have gotten a few hits on my web site.  Maybe videos even animated ones are a good way to reach people.  This video sounds a bit like a PSA after a bad after school special.  Anyway, here is the link.  my video  And here is the video.  It's a bit cheesy but it has a point. 

A small History lesson

I have always been fascinated by the stories of the concentration camp survivors of World War II.  How did a thriving country ever get to the point of killing millions of productive people within their society?  As I understand it, people have always shunned and kept away groups that are strange and new.  Some of this may be basic survival.  Get that new group away and they can't hurt us.  We have done this with racial and ethnic minorities.  We have done this with people of different religions.  I think we still do this with people who are homosexual.  I have yet to figure out how a stereotype can lead to blind hatred and then the killing of masses of people.  So I watch whatever comes across my path about that time in history.

I have seen maybe a half dozen movies and documentaries about this subject and I have read a few books too. I know I have only scraped the surface.  I never heard stories from any Jewish person with a disability who lived in a concentration camp or hid out somewhere or whatever.  Since I had always heard that people with disabilities Jewish or not were among the first groups to be killed,  I concluded that people with disabilities who were also Jewish either did not survive or were not talking about it. 

Today I saw a short documentary that was a revelation to me.  Ingelore is the story of a woman who is deaf.  Born in Germany in 1924, she first has to deal with parents who don't understand how to deal with her, and then she has to deal with a country who hates her.  Though Ingelore did not get placed in a concentration camp, she had her own Nazi horrors to deal with.  After all of those experiences she is told that she will not get a visa to come to the United States with er family if she is deaf.  She actually had to fake hearing.  Only 45 minutes this documentary packs a punch.  You will want to see it more than once.  It is On demand at HBO. 

Some other books at Amazon.com.

Stresses

My housemate just lost his temper with me.  Why?  I'm not really sure?  His mom says he's under stress.  well OK, who isn't?   I am beginning to think I don't have anxiety disorder but most of the people I know might.  I also got scolded by his mom not to jump on him.  Did I jump? I asked what was wrong.  Is that jumping on someone?  When you are stressed like that it seems to me like it's going to come out some way.  Get it out some way positive. Write a blog.  Sing a song. (or scream it if you like that kind of music)   Dance.  Punch a bag or something soft.  Not a family member or animal.  Sit and have quiet time.  Do whatever legal legitimate thing you need to do to get it out.  Keeping stresses in can lead to depression and violence to yourself or others.  Finding that outlet is a great way to manage life.  By the way, I sometimes use the Serenity Prayer.  It is not just for addicts.  GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.  Anything that you need to do to have this feeling:

Turn into this feeling.

Have a great day!

Follow ups

There is only one thing I have to say about life right now. It's F **** tough.  I like a lot of people disabled or not are struggling.  I also try to help and advise others who are struggling.  Two of those people are my housemates.  The gentleman is over 50. He has been told he needs a Colonoscopy.  The insurance program he is under is called PAC or Primary Adult Care.  This program gives adults over the age of 19 and under a certain income, basic medical care.  Apparently it is very basic because the insurance will not cover all of the test.  He needs to pay $100.00 up front to be seen by the doctor who does the test.  He works two days per week at a fast food place.  He does not have this money.  I did a search online and found out there is nothing that I could find to help.  The local wellness mobile used to offer resources for anyone for this issue.  The wellness mobile got it's funding cut and is no longer in existence.  The local health used to offer free screenings.  Currently they do not offer anything.  There is some hope.  My housemate was told to come back to the health department in July there may be funding then. 

It is a shame when programs designed to prevent costly diseases like cancer are cut.  I know this is a tough time.  But why do the poor and under served have to pay for the cuts.  They are too busy trying to live their lives with no money to really have a say.  for me things are not getting any better.  I am grateful for the fact that I am able to use my mind and my mouth to shout what I have to say.  From what I see people are either too confused or too afraid to speak.  For some people being afraid to ask for help means that they are a failure.  (I cried in my shrinks office because I feel like one)  For others it is not knowing where to turn for help.  I can only give these words of advice.

• If you are looking for local resources talk to local people first.
• Don't shout, make noise and complain before you need to.  Simple explanations are the best.
• If you need to go outside local resources for help, remember who you spoke to when.  Write it down. or keep numbers.
• Shout and or protest when none of the above work.
• Giving up is not an option. It is a last resort

Beauty and success



On the talk shows today there was a discussion.  Is beauty more important than intelligence to achieve success?  I know the answer we are all supposed to give is "No Way is beauty more important than itelligence!"  But these questions really cause me to think. Movies are full of the dumb female that the guy can get over on so she will have sex with him.  Marilyn Monroe made an entire career out of playing a beautiful but dumb character.  But Marilyn Monroe was also intelligent enough to know that that image would sell.  In fact a beautiful intelligent woman is a great combination in almost any profession.

Above are some pictures of things that i think are beautiful. A flower, and my four legged childeren.  But none of them have to worry about success.  I doubt a flower really cares if it is in a beautiful garden or growing in 1 patch of grass.  The four legged children like to show me what good hunters they are by bringing in an occasional mole or bird or even a rabbit.  I doubt they really worry that they won't eat.  I think they just want an alternative to cat food.  They know they are loved, and they will always have food and a shelter.  What about people with disabilities?  Most of us struggle to get what we want in life.  We usually stay poor.  and we have to depend on government programs for stability.Which is a joke.  How can you be stable when someone else controls what will be paid for and how much money you have to buy food?  I know it's up to the individual to measure success but I think we are not sucessful under a lot of measurements.

Why is that?  I think there is some fear on the part of people with disabilities that we can't succeed without help.  But I also wonder if it's becuse a lot of us either don't fit the idea of what is intelligent or the idea of what is beautiful.  Take me for example,  I am intelligent.  I have a Master's degree.  I got good grades.  I also have twisted feet and sit in a chair all day.With someone with cognitive issues be it a learning disability or an inellectual disability, they may be beautiful on the outside but have a tough time learning or dealing with things.  So we never seem to quite get there.  We need to remember that there are lots of ways to show intelligence.  And some of the most physically challenged people I know have written bills for our state legislature and have some of the most beautiful souls.