Advocacy

I often talk about the people I worked with when I was a paid advocate.  Part of the reason I like to talk about them is because most of them were really terrific individuals with issues and problems similar to my own.  What good is life if we don't learn from each other?  Another part of the reason is because I believe that everyone can benefit from advocacy and conflict resolution skills. So I use my experiences as examples. If you think about it Everyone needs to ask for what they want at some point.  Maybe you need more support from a spouse or family member.  Maybe you need to ask for more hours at work.  Maybe you just need to ask for quiet or some personal time.

I am by no means an expert.  I have fought for and gotten a lot of what I want.  Here are some things I tell people. 

• Hear their side.  You may know you are in for a fight but understanding the opposition will often help. 
• Pick your battles-  No one wins them all.  Choose what you are really willing to fight for and what you can let go.  Fighting over everything makes you lose credibility.  It looks like you just like the fight not the solution.
• Give a little to get a little.  Don't be afraid to give up a little to get a lot.  A lot of advocacy is listening and choosing.  You don't need to roll over but giving up something may show you are willing to be fair.
• If you can't get anyone to hear your side, MAKE SOME NOISE!! The media and your right to peaceful assembly can be a great way to get your voices heard. 

I once met Bob Kafka who was a big deal in disability advocacy.  I told him how much I admired him and read about him.  "But I said A lot of what you do and what we talk about seems to be making trouble and ways to fight and protest.  I have been a part of a protest but I also believe in conflict resolution.  Do you think that has a place here?"  His reply was a thoughtful not and he said "To use conflict resolution is great as long as they are willing to come to the table.  You protest when they are not willing to come to the table.  Good luck in all your negotiations.  Take care