Not a bad day but A new worry

It's been a decent few days.  It's been warm so I am not worried about heat.  I went to see my care provider's play.  I thought she did a great job.  She even acted a bit more than she did when we ran lines together.  The history of her church was interesting.  She rocked her costume. The plain brown skirt from my wardrobe plus a shirt from Goodwill a scarf on her head and a hat for later really worked! How cool what a little imagination can do. Now I have a new worry though. I need to change from happy to scared There is yet another round of unemployment coming.  I would like to take part.  I need the extra for heat until energy assistance comes in.  The problem that I have is that they require 4 job contacts per week.  You must turn in a paper with a list of your contacts.  If they don't get the list you don't get benefits.  I think the contact list is actually a good thing.  I like showing people how much I have tried.  People need to see that when you have a disability you can try and try for jobs and no one will hire you.  Maybe they can report these findings and people will stop and think about why they are excluding people with disabilities so often.  The problem I have is that there may not be four jobs I can do.  I have no problem working a minimum wage job if that's all there is but I need to be able to do the majority of the job.  For example I would never apply to be a ditch digger. Since I cannot use a shovel or dig a ditch. Some one told me that there was a local company asking for temp workers to work door to door.  I told her I couldn't do that job.  When she asked why, I reminded her that I couldn't go door to door if I couldn't actually reach the door to knock on it.  Most houses don't have ramps to get to the door.  Her own home included.  A job dealing with people is preferred.  Another rule of this program is that you cannot turn down a job.  If you are offered one you must take it.  As long as I think I can do it I will take it.  The only thing I can do is keep looking but it's wearing me down.  There is only so much rejection a person can take before they feel like nothing and people with disabilities often get to that point and beyond.  I can tell you if I did not need this money I would not do this program.  I am beyond the point of feeling like nothing.  I never thought I wold be the person with the disability who would give up but I just don't see it getting any better.  I may have to swallow the fact that I will never work again.  I may never achieve the self sufficiency I wanted for myself.  This is not hat I wanted.  Anyway take care and good luck