Actually a pretty good day today.

I had a good day today.  I went out of the house.  That helped a lot.  I had lunch with my care provider around 1130 and I am still not very hungry.  We went to La Roma an Italian restaurant down the street from me.  I got a notice that solos tryouts will be next Tuesday.  We are doing Irving Berlin song and some classical music too.  I like the Irving Berlin stuff and have been listening to recordings and watching videos from You Tube.  Someone complimented me on the way I looked today too.  That made me feel good.  I hope the good feeling lasts.  I can feel the anxiety getting the best of me.

My disability is Cerebral Palsy.  It affects the motor functions and the nerve connections in your body.  So It's hard to control my breathing and lungs when I get nervous.  The thing that bothers me the most is I used to be better at controlling these muscles.  I have not put as much effort at singing as I would like to.  I would really like to take lessons again at this point I/can't afford it.  I have come up with a plan to help with the nerves.  I will just keep going over these songs until singing them is second nature.  My roommates will just have do deal with it or wear ear muffs in the house. :)  The other thing I do is put too much pressure on myself.  I get so hyped up that when the audition comes I lose it.  I have to practice but stay relaxed.  That is the tough part.  I do think that when you have a disability like mine and you must do something that takes muscle control and can get you nervous the only thing you can do is do it so many times it becomes like second nature.  It helped when I was swimming too!  I would do really good in practice and then the meet would come and I would freeze.  When I was in practice, if I signed up for a 200 ( 8 lengths of the pool) I would have to do a 200. stop, wait a minute, do another 200, stop ,wait and so on at least 8 or 10 times.  That way when the race actually came one little 200 was so easy it was no problem.  I must handle these songs this way too.  It will help a lot.  Wish me luck and take care