Thinking of my cat

While I'm sitting in bed at night I have a lot of anxious thoughts.  What if I never get a steady job again?  What if they stop helping with the mortgage before I get regular work?  If I die before the mortgage is paid will the house sit and rot?  Who will bury me?  who will care for my animals?  Will I ever feel content with my life?  (The answer to the last question is no by the way.  There is always something to work on or work towards.)  Most of these questions will stop when I take my pill for anxiety. If I don't want to medicate myself out of these thoughts all the time I consider Fat boy.

Through life's crazy set of circumstances my four legged grand son cat got bitten by and animal and has to be under quarantine for a total of 6 months.  He sits in a cage all the time.  Sometimes he cries for attention or to get his litter cleaned but basically he's still a happy boy.  I caught him playing with a ball in his cage the other day.  He doesn't even really try to escape any more.  He knows someone will be there to feed him and love him and clean his litter at least once a day.  Some might say this broke his spirit.  I don't think so.  I think he thinks "Okay. I'm in this crappy cage.  I don't know why but my human grandma says I gotta stay.  At least she comes by to feed me, change my litter and love me a bit.  Maybe I can deal with it."

I am learning to do the same.  No job?  right now I can deal with it.  Food stamps and other assistance has been a huge help and I have survived so far.  I am worried about my home.  Well I have paid all the payments I was supposed to so far and I am taking one month at a time.for now that is all I have. I don't really worry about my death I just worry about the animals and such I might leave behind.  I hope someone is there to love them . 

I don't always feel loved and supported these days.  I have no boyfriend or whatever and family is sporadic at best but I have learned from Fat boy Take what comes.  Fight when you have to hang in there and be patient Your time will come.  Take care.